The Stockholm Syndrome!

Story Transcript

JON STEWART, THE DAILY SHOW: As you may know, our government has been busy taking ownership stakes in our auto industry, banks, insurance companies, and Build-a-Bear Workshops. What you may not know is that all this will lead to only one inevitable conclusion.

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FOX NEWS ANCHOR: Socialism’s coming our way.

NEIL CAVUTO, SENIOR VP BUSINESS NEWS, FOX NEWS: Now, do we want to go that route, become Sweden?

BILL O’REILLY: Do we really want to change America into Sweden?

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STEWART: I don’t think that’s rhetorical, people. When the marginal tax rate goes from 36 to 39 percent, we’re becoming Sweden. We sent Wyatt Cenac to Sweden—for real—to investigate.

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The Stockholm Syndrome

Produced by Miles Kahn

Edited by Einar Westerlund

WYATT CENAC, THE DAILY SHOW (VOICEOVER): Sweden, a barren, tax-infested land so bleak, even their cars are prone to suicide. Socialism has left this population ravaged, dispirited, and hauntingly thin.

WYATT CENAC (ON CAMERA): How difficult is life here for you?

STREETER 1: It’s not that difficult. It’s quite easy to go to work, have a good job and a nice family.

CENAC (VOICEOVER): She’s pretty.

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STREETER 2: Yeah, the dentists and the doctors, that’s for free.

CENAC: Nod, Wyatt. Nod.

CENAC (ON CAMERA): Okay.

STREETER 2: And so it’s a bit different.

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STREETER 3: Well, basically, you don’t pay the amount of money that you guys pay [inaudible]

CENAC (VOICEOVER): [sniffing] Oh, she smells like lavender and free education.

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STREETER 4: Young people doesn’t get punished for [inaudible]

CENAC: I can’t believe I like that other girl. That other girl was [bullshit].

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CENAC: I comforted them the only way I knew how—with my hands. These people were clearly hurting, but I was not prepared for what I heard next.

WORKER: Work is fun.

CENAC: I visited the Scania truck factory, where mindless drones assemble trucks that all look the same.

CENAC (ON CAMERA): Work is fun?

WORKER: Yes.

CENAC: Is that what they tell you you have to say?

WORKER: No. No, no, no. No. [inaudible]

CENAC: Are there cameras? Are we—?

WORKER: No. I like my work. I have something to do on my days.

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CENAC (VOICEOVER): Apparently, the assembly line is the only thing that relieves the boredom of is16 months paid maternity leave, 10 weeks paid vacation, free gym membership, and the company spa.

GUIDE, SCANIA AB: So in here we have one of our massage rooms.

CENAC (ON CAMERA): You have massages.

GUIDE: Yes.

CENAC: Full release?

GUIDE: Yes, of course.

CENAC: So that’s what you do? You coddle your employees with full-release massages, and swimming pools, free health care?

GUIDE: Yes. Isn’t that nice?

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CENAC (VOICEOVER): Government sponsored [bleeped] jobs sound nice, until you realize what you have to give up in return.

50 CENT, HIP HOP MUSICIAN: I want to show you my crib.

CENAC: The possibilities of capitalism.

50 CENT: I be in here watching, you know, kung fu flicks and pornos.

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CENAC: So I met up with Robin, Sweden’s biggest music sensation, hot off her tour with Madonna. She was my last hope.

ROBIN, POP MUSICIAN: Hey.

CENAC: Hey. What’s going on? It’s Robin, Sweden’s biggest pop star.

ROBIN: How are you?

CENAC: I’m good. How are you?

ROBIN: I’m good, I’m good.

CENAC: Alright. So—.

ROBIN: It’s nice to have you.

CENAC: Thank you. Let’s check out your place.

ROBIN: Yeah. This is my place.

CENAC: So this is where the magic happens.

ROBIN: This is my—um, my guest bed. It’s where my mother-in-law sleeps when she comes to my house. You want to see my kitchen?

CENAC: Sure, yeah.

ROBIN: Yeah, let’s go to the kitchen.

CENAC: Let’s check out the kitchen in Robin’s crib. We’re checking out—. Is that the biggest TV you have?

ROBIN: Yeah, that’s the biggest TV. I only have that one, actually.

CENAC: Alright, so somebody’s been doing some shopping.

ROBIN: Uh, no, it’s my recycling station.

CENAC: Alright. This isn’t [bleeped] working. No. Cut it, cut it.

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CENAC (VOICEOVER): It was shocking. Sweden’s pop stars live like our reality-show stars. Somebody had to hold the mirror up to their face.

CENAC (ON CAMERA): Wake up, people! You’re living in a socialist nightmare.

CENAC (VOICEOVER): I had to do something.

CENAC (ON CAMERA): Wake up!

CENAC (VOICEOVER): I had to save them.

CENAC (ON CAMERA): Where the [fuck] am I?

To Be Continued

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STEWART: Wyatt Cenac. We’ll be right back.

DISCLAIMER:

Please note that TRNN transcripts are typed from a recording of the program; The Real News Network cannot guarantee their complete accuracy.